Sometimes You Have To “Go There”: Getting Rid Of Buttocks-Cleft (“Butt-Crack”) Hair

Butt Hair Me Out!

Hair removal is a high-maintenance activity, so most men tend to leave hair that is socially acceptable, unattended. Many men, for example, do not routinely shave their legs, underarms, or forearms. But some men, for various personal reasons, prefer to regularly remove even hair that is highly unlikely to be seen by the general public.  The hair that grows in the cleft of the buttocks of many men is an example of such hair. The problem, however, is that because of the human anatomy, those hairs are generally difficult for a man to personally access for removal purposes. The general consensus seems to be that depilatory creams should not be used since they are relatively harsh, while the anus, which is situated in close proximity to the hair that grows in that area of the body, is relatively sensitive.  Shaving with razors poses even more anatomical challenges:  Some men, who insist on conducting the activity by themselves in total privacy, prop one leg up or stoop over mirrors, or perch themselves onto the rims of their toilet bowls or bidets and hope for the best results.

If shaving is the method of choice, it is important that the hair to be removed–which is generally of a coarser texture than other bodily hair–be thoroughly moistened with warm water immediately prior to shaving so as to soften its texture, thereby reducing the likelihood of subsequent ingrown hairs.  And it is best that a woman’s “bikini-area” razor, which is specifically designed for private-area shaving, be employed–as opposed to a conventional men’s razor. Some men opt for self-applied or salon hair-waxing removal techniques. Because waxing removes hair bulbs and other sub-epidermal portions of hair in addition to surface hair, the period between waxing and the appearance of new growth is longer than with the shaving technique since shaving removes only surface-level hair.  In either case, new growth presents the potential for ingrown hairs and embarrassing itching. To reduce the chances of ingrown hairs, an exfoliant should be used 24 hours after the hair removal, thereby reducing any accumulation of dead skin that might obstruct the free growth of new hair. And the occasional itching caused by new growth of hair must be handled as discreetly as possible:  By grinning and bearing until relief can be obtained in privacy, or by placing one’s hand into one’s pocket and providing relief as inconspicuously as possible. In order to avoid excessive irritation and reduce the incidence of ingrown hairs, the general rule is that private-area hair should not be removed before it attains a length of one-eight inch.  While salon waxing is arguably the most effective way to remove buttocks-cleft hair, it is certainly not the most economical since in order to keep the area relatively free of hair, waxing would have to be conducted every two to three weeks. Considering efficacy and economy, then, a gentleman on a budget should request the assistance from his sex-partner for either in-house waxing or shaving.

With all the foregoing, the long and short of it is that when it comes to how a gentleman should handle the hair in the cleft of his buttocks, no one else has any business butting in unless invited in. Some things are simply of a nature too private to be decided by public opinion. And at the end of the day, hair is neither here nor there. Therefore, a 21st-century gentleman should do as he pleases with his hair, for he alone shall suffer the social conseequences or reap the social benefits of his choices.






























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