12 Quotations by Wayne James

1. There are three things a gentleman never discusses:  acreage, lineage, and patronage.
2. Life is my drug of choice:  It gives me all the highs and lows I could ever want.
3. What women really need are bra-implants, not breast-implants.
4. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty; it’s simply halfway. So stop debating and start drinking!
5. I can live anywhere with the three B’s:  Beaches, Bougainvillea, and Bidets!
6. Be consistent! Even a dead clock gets it right twice a day….
7. If you’re going to piss on someone’s grave, show some respect:  Do it in zigzag!
8. Everyone is a genius–at something….
9. I have friends in high–and low–places….
10. Get up, dust off, straighten your tie, and  then hit them back–harder!
11. Dry-wiping your butt is like dry-wiping a muddied windshield–but worse!
12. The more expensive a man’s jewelry, the cheaper he looks.