Know Thyself —The Arts of Erotic Self-Exploration and Masturbation
In order to preserve and protect the innocence of youth, most societies enact laws prohibiting under-age drinking, smoking, driving, and sexual intercourse. Simply put, young people are too immature to responsibly engage in those activities. But while the under-aged—with adult supervision—may be occasionally allowed a sip of Cuba libre at the family’s barbecue, encouraged to take a ceremonial puff of Grandfather’s pipe at his 80th -birthday party, or ordered to go down to the local DMV to apply for a Learner’s Permit, under-aged coitus (and in many cases pre-marital coitus, regardless of age) is strictly forbidden, period. But five to ten years is a long time for a thirteen-year-old to wait for anything—especially sex (After all, at age 13, ten years amount to more than half his life!) So what should a young gentleman do with his raging hormones and seemingly incessant sexual urges between the age of 13 and the age of legal consent or his wedding night? Answer: Practice erotic self-exploration; and become a master at masturbation. “While You Wait, Masturbate!” should become the man-mantra for the 21st-century.
Scientific studies are replete with data suggesting that most teenagers admit that they are too young to engage in sexual intercourse. But between the compelling nature of the sex urge and immense social pressure, many teenagers succumb, oftentimes ruining their first sexual experience (sometimes causing collateral damage to subsequent sexual experiences as well) on account of their inexperience and the guilt oftentimes associated with under-aged and/or premarital sex.
But much of the urge to engage prematurely in sexual intercourse would perhaps dissipate if young people were presented with the alternatives of erotic self-exploration and masturbation.
Children, from as early as three or four years old, if left to their own devices, will engage in sexual play—whether in the form of playing “House” or “Doctor” or a variation thereof. And provided that all the participants are approximately of the same age and inexperience, such curiosity-driven play usually amounts to little more than “Show-and-Tell” and is not only generally harmless, but arguably healthy. Then, in the years immediately preceding puberty, the sexes tend to naturally separate (somewhat like a sinister calm before a raging storm), forming same-gender alliances, often to the exclusion of the opposite gender. In the early pubescent years, however, boys and girls rekindle their interests in each other—only this time, it is not to play “Mommy and Daddy,” it is to be Mommy and Daddy, even though parenthood may not be their specific intention. So it is at that juncture that society—for good reason—tries to keep boys and girls apart, despite their compelling urges to be together.
But teenagers are thoughtful people. And sex is a powerful urge. So teenagers figure out ways to have sex, oftentimes, unfortunately, to their detriment: unwanted pregnancies, tarnished reputations, emotional (and sometimes physical) scars, bad first experiences, and sexually transmitted diseases, for example. Perhaps if they had been presented with erotic self-exploration and masturbation as viable alternatives to sexual intercourse, they would have avoided the trauma of premature coitus and instead privately and shamelessly prepared themselves for a future of healthy sexual relations.
The first step towards realizing a healthy sex life in the 21st century is erotic self-exploration: Providing a pleasurable sexual experience to a partner is much more likely if one has had first-hand experience (whether from the right hand or the left hand!) with providing sexual pleasure to oneself.
The entire human body, from the top of the head to the soles of the feet, can give and receive sexual pleasure. And a young gentleman, in his long journey towards sexual maturity, should become intimately familiar with his entire superficial anatomy—not just his penis—through self-exploration while fantasizing about sex, the aim being to uncover how each body part responds to sexual stimulation. A perfect time to engage in such an activity is immediately after showering, when moisturizer is being applied to the body. Varying degrees of intensity of touch should be applied to each body part in order to realize the full benefits of the exercise. The outline of the lips, for example, could be gently traced with a fingertip one moment then the fullness of the lips could be massaged in another moment. Likewise, an aggressive, deep massage may arouse the feet one day, while a light, tickle-like touching of the soles may be what is needed another day. Barely passing a hand over the light hairs of the inner thighs, without touching the skin, can arouse some men to the point of ecstasy, while a more forceful stimulation of the scalp can be simultaneously relaxing and arousing in other men. And sexual pleasure can be derived from some of the most unexpected places: For some men, a firm massaging of the inner ankle, immediately followed by gently gliding a finger from the area just below the inner ankle leading to the instep can inspire a penile erection. And like babies, who instinctively explore much of the world with their mouths, a young gentleman must recognize the value of his mouth in the art of touching. So to the extent anatomically possible, he should touch his body parts with his lips and tongue, a technique that will prove invaluable when he demonstrates that knowledge on a sexual partner. Such touching exercises should persist throughout the sex life of a gentleman, with each successive exercise revealing more of the priceless self-knowledge that is critical for building healthy, lasting, inter- and intra-personal sexual relations. Self-examination also enables a gentleman to closely and regularly monitor his body, in some cases alerting him to slight changes that may be the early indicators of progressing health conditions and diseases. Self-exploration exercises, when coupled with erotic thoughts, also help a young gentleman learn how to integrate the mental and physical components of sex, a skill that will prove invaluable for coitus reservatus and simultaneous orgasms.
Many people who have ever had the burning desire to have sex but instead opted for masturbation would agree that masturbation can be a very good substitute for sexual intercourse. And if done properly by a person with a vivid imagination, it can in some instances even surpass the actual act in providing sexual satisfaction.
But good, healthy, pleasure-filled masturbation begins with the truth: So no, hair will not sprout from the palms, and masturbation does not cause acne; blindness will not ensue; and stimulating oneself sexually will not stunt growth. Of course, like anything else, too much of even a good thing is bad. So if a young gentleman masturbates to the point where his strength is so diminished that he, as a result of fatigue, becomes more susceptible to common viruses against which his healthy body would normally provide natural defenses, he is masturbating excessively. Likewise, if a young man is spending more time in the bathroom than on his school assignments, his extra-curricular activities, and/or his special interests, he is probably masturbating beyond what is recommended. The inquiry is basic: Is masturbation negatively impacting other essential areas of life? If the answer is “yes,” then the amount of time spent masturbating should be reduced.
Masturbation is narrowly defined as the erotic stimulation of one’s or another’s genitals (in the case of men, the penis and the testicles; and in the case of women, the labia, clitoris, and vagina) by some manual or other means not including sexual intercourse, especially for the purpose of achieving orgasm. But other body parts and erogenous zones are oftentimes stimulated during masturbation to bring about the best results—all the more reason why a young gentleman should already be intimately familiar with his body when he graduates from erotic self-exploration to masturbating for the purpose of achieving orgasm.
Unlike the female sex, for which the arrival of the years of fertility is vividly announced, a young man’s ability to produce sperm is a much less dramatic realization—so much so that most young men fumble upon the phenomenon, whether by waking up to moistened underwear after a nocturnal emission, or experimenting with masturbation at the urging of contemporaries.
For many young men, the first orgasm is at once a physical, emotional, and spiritual experience, though they may not verbalize it as such at age 12 or 13. What they do know, however, is that it feels like nothing they have ever felt before. And they like it. And they want more of it—a lot more!
After the ecstatic convulsions, heart palpitations, and sublime shock of the first orgasm have subsided and the young gentleman can again think clearly, he should reflect on what has occurred and its implications: That the natural consequence of sex thereafter is the birth of a child; that true happiness begins within, orgasm being a metaphor for self-reliance; that the best things in life are free and should be cherished; that self-exploration can lead to unimaginable discoveries; that orgasm is the manifestation of man’s being created in the image of God such that like God, he is endowed with the capacity to create, the highest form of that creative ability being the creation of human life.
Good masturbation requires the integration of sexual touch with sexual thought, the goal of the union being to generate sexual feelings. Early in a young gentleman’s experiences with masturbation, he may need the aid of erotic literature, photos, and/or moving images in order to inspire sexual thought. The young man’s goal, however, should be to develop his mind such that external aids lose their relative importance over time. One of the pleasures of masturbation is for the practitioner to be able to use his mind to create whatever sexual fantasy he desires, whenever he desires it.
Masturbation devoid of sexual thought is in effect ejaculation by agitation—as is so often the case with the novice. But the penis is a very delicate organ, comprised of some of the softest and most sensitive skin on the male body; and overly aggressive manipulation can damage the organ, compromising the sexual future of a young man.
“Beating the meat,” “choking the snake,” and “jacking off,” terms which conjure up images of pain rather than pleasure, are just a few of the terms in the English vernacular used by men to describe the act of masturbation. And as a result of aggressive stimulation, many men develop penises that have literally been “bent out of shape.”
Some men have penises that, by nature, are slightly curved. Others develop slightly curved penises as the result of improperly performed circumcisions or because of relatively tight foreskins. But the majority of the problematically curved penises are the result of damage caused during aggressive masturbation (though curvatures can also be the result of damage to the unprotected penis during sporting events, for example).
Overly aggressive masturbation, where there is much stretching, bending, and “choking” of the penis, can cause not only damage to the delicate skin on the surface of the penis, but also internal damage. And in the process of healing its internal injuries, the penis produces scar tissue, which accumulates at the damaged areas. This plaque-like scar tissue is not flexible, so when the rest of the penis expands during an erection, the section with the scar tissue does not, causing the penis to bend, and in some cases, “bottle-neck” or narrow, at the damaged section. Accumulated scar tissue on the left side of the shaft of the penis, for example, will cause the penis to curve to the left when erect. And accumulated scar tissue on the topside of the shaft will cause the penis to curve upwards during erection.
In some cases, the curvature or narrowing of the penis is so severe that it results in a medical condition called Peyronie’s Disease, which is evidenced by sexual dysfunction: severe pain occasioned by erections; discomfort for sexual partners; embarrassment, insecurity, and other manifestations of psychological harm to the inflicted. In the most extreme cases, corrective surgery is required.
Though the human penis contains no bones, the erect penis can also sustain a penile “fracture,” usually the result of blunt trauma or overly aggressive sex. In such cases, immediate surgery increases the chances of recovery.
The use of a lubricant–basic petroleum jelly being an age-old favorite–reduces the risk of penile damage during masturbation.
The moral of the story is: A gentleman should be pleasant, not penal, to his penis during masturbation, and it will serve him well for years to come.
Shortly after masturbation (or any activity, including intercourse, which may cause the flow of semen), it is always wise for a gentleman to induce urine-flow, which will flush the urethra clean of semen, since stagnant, accumulated semen in the urethra can increase the chances of urinary tract infections. It is therefore wise for a young man to drink water prior to masturbating so as to be able to evacuate the bladder after ejaculation. Pouring warm water (The young man should ensure that the water is not too warm!) onto the glans (or head of the penis) and its shaft will induce urine flow and should be resorted to if necessary.